Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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