Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
