We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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