Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
