First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
