We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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