I am puke
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
