so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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