just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
