my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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