Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
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