YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize