I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
