so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
