your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
