im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
