the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses youâ€
Randomize
