real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize