I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
