then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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