We named our party play list daddy issues
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize