what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize