Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
