And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My liver is preforming stress tests.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
