I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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