I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
