Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
