you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
