check it out our google latitudes are spooning
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize