I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
