OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
vagina is talking i cant
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
