I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize