i think my tv is drunk
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
