So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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