Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
