My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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