it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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