I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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