I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
