I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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