I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
