Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize