You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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