Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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