Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
