A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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