Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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