She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
