dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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