the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
