Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
