I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
