mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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