I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize