no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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