why didn't you poke me back
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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