Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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