Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
When did angry sex become our thing?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
